I need 5 benefits of the kids going on a school trip. Not for the kids, for me.

Only a day since they left. and I have been convincing myself, how peaceful it is. No school bus to catch, no fight over the porridge, no running back from the bus stop to get the home work notebook.

Wow! So peaceful, then why is the silence getting to me? The quiet deafening?

Let me seek some benefits…

Benefit 1

I can work in peace. There will no one is asking me irrelevant questions, when a con-call with the client is on, like, ‘mamma how many stars are there in the universe?’ ‘What is the meaning of ‘cynical’?

Oh! So peaceful…Then why did I snap at my client today?  Its generally the other way round, I snap at my kid for the client.

Benefit 2

My hubby and I can go for a date and a late night movie. And…and we don’t have to stand in the long line for Nachoes…

Then why did we anyway stand and buy that junk food?

Benefit 3

I can go out with my mother-in-law for a shopping spree. Without one hand tugging for ice-cream…donut…books and toys.

Then why did the Zara new collection not interest me? And I bought some Percy Jacksons instead? Strange behavior.

Benefit 4

The best one! No Doremon. No Chota bheem! Yipeee!

But…Alas! I think I slept watching the thrilling Bond movie of our times…

Benefit 5

One more! I can chat with my Mom about all the family gossip in peace, without being questioned on the details of each relative. ‘Who is this Lucknow wali mami ki chachi, mamma?’

Then why do these relatives seem so distant and irrelevant? And their life stories so uninteresting and regular?

 Still looking for benefits…any leads anyone?

The brat has over ruled all my personalities, like a creative consultant…a daughter…a wife, a daughter-in-law…he has incapacitated me for all other functions. Of course, I do them all but the only designation where I really ‘love to live’ is that of a ‘MOM’

My tryst with my looks

A posh palour. I tiptoed into it precariously. The girls whisked around and the men flexed their muscles, for once I thought I have entered the ramp of an ongoing fashion week.

‘Eye…eyebrows’, I said softly.

‘Only threading?’ Loud and hard.

‘Yes’

‘Call Sangeeta, she has appointments lined up…but she can take this, this client has ONLY eyebrows.’

I felt apologetic for wasting their time.

‘Hello Madam, what can I get you? Tea, Coffee, water?’ Sangeeta said with a smile

‘Eyebrows’, I said

I was pushed back and the pulling started. Doesn’t pain anymore as it’s been 25 years, the first time I had the courage to get only one a day, only because my friends thought I looked like that , ‘Yakku’ fellow in the long forgotten serial, ‘Chandrakanta’

‘Madam, your feet need a pedicure, so rough your feet look’.

My feet felt apologetic.

‘Ok you finish this then I will get the pedicure done.’

At the pedicure station.

‘Madam your hands really need a manicure, saath saath ho jayega…’

My feet looking like Cinderella, I jumped up to go to the counter.

My eyebrow girl came up, ‘Ma’am, I have finished with this client, your face looks so bad, so many open pores and black heads…get our gold facial.’

I thought I would end up paying in gold coins, but vanity thy name is woman.

The gold facial done, I looked pretty much the same. The Aishwarya I expected to see in the mirror didn’t come up!

I headed towards the counter when the hair stylist accosted me and commented how bad my hair looked and the streaks of white, which I always found dignified, were totally written off.

Hair done, colour done.  Now my looks should satisfy the palour girls. They did. Phew!

I had to get to the counter now.

Paid almost my half months salary, I walked out. Over lunch, my friends discovered in the bill that I had paid for the upper lip and not got it done.

Loosing 100 bucks was better than your face, hair, feet, hands being judged so harshly, so I let it go.  On insistence of my buddies said, no harm in getting it done.

So I walked in again. A totally new girl came, ‘Ma’am, your eyebrows are done so badly, the colour in the hair doesn’t suit your skin, the nail paint is bad quality…where did you get it all this done?

I rested my case.

Bully ka the End

Bully

Neha Srivastava

Parent IV C

‘This is my eraser’

‘Now it is mine’

‘Give it to me, you bully’

‘I am not a bully, not a bully; I will give you one tight slap if you call me that, you loser’.

‘Bully, bully, bully.’

Smash. Crash. Bang.

The aaa’s and oows’s to follow. The punishments, diary notes and parent meetings are the usual routine that happen as a repercussion of a fight for the humble ‘eraser’ .

When you watch it as an outsider, it seems trivial, we also smirk on the ‘hyper’ parents and the extra lenient ones, branding them as parents who don’t have time for their kids and hence the kids have become bullies and unruly.

However, branding helps only lifeless products, not humans who form our society.  A deep insight can help us eradicate this practise of bullying. If we can eradicate polio, a deadly disease, then why can’t we, as parents, stop this menace? Of course, Amitabh Bachchan is not going to come and help us with this; we need to campaign against it ourselves. We need to understand the psych and intent of bullies, before they turn into Mukesh Yadavs’ of our society.

The stereotypes target someone who has a mature level of emotional development and a bully who has the level of emotional development of a five-year-old - or less. The target will go to great lengths to avoid resorting to violence, as they have been taught by parents, teachers and society. 

Experts have stated that there is not always a clear reason why kids become bullies. Some kids will bully others simply because they think it is fun. Without an adult intervening, some kids see nothing wrong with bullying others. There are also many cases where parents set a bad example for their children which leads them to believe it is okay to be a bully, I have so often heard mother’s laughing, ‘He is very naughty! He keeps hitting everybody’. I wish they would understand how harmful it is, for their own child, to indulge in this behaviour. If they genuinely love their children they must kill the bully in them, before it kills the human inside them.

On the other hand the gentle children must know that she / he must never ignore bullying. Instead, refuse to engage and refuse to respond to the bullies' provocation. Recognise that they have a right not to be bullied, harassed, assaulted or abused. They cannot tackle bullying by themselves. No-one can, not even adults. They are dealing with a kind of criminal behaviour.

“The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person” - Mary Elizabeth Williams

So are you and I making little people with mental strength or are we just creating powerful menaces for our society?