Publication: Times Of India Delhi;
Date: Jun 28, 2009;
Section: Times Life;
Page: 58
Soul Curry
Times Life reader Neha Srivastava logs in what she’s learnt in her 36 years of existence
1978 A glass of milk stared at me menacingly. How do I get rid of it with Mom standing right on top of my head? The sink was an old trick; my sister always knew if her glass was refilled; plants disclosed the secret… there was no saviour. At 5, life taught me that there was no escaping milk and Mom. 1983 “I want that dress now,” I screamed. It was my best friend’s party and I wanted a new dress. There was an insanely sane expression on Mom’s face, till I stopped screaming as I realised I’d just bought a dress a month ago. At 10, life had taught me that unreasonable demands were never fulfilled. 1988 “Don’t tell your Mom, I’m not telling mine either, that we are going for the movie after class. They will never allow us,” I whispered to my friend over the phone. “No,” came the prompt reply, “I never hide anything from my Mom and I’m sure she will let me go.” And so it was. Our parents not only allowed us to go but also gave us extra money. At 15, life taught me that good company always makes you a better person and reasonable demands are always fulfilled. 1993 “This is my life, I will make my own career decision.” Dad just looked up from beneath his glasses and said, “Of course you will, but Economics hasn’t ever been very good to you and English always pulls your marks up.” I took English Honours and topped the course. I was picked up by a top advertising agency. At20, life had taught me to respect experienced people. 1998 Plonk went my engagement ring in GETTY IMAGES the dustbin… “What do you think of yourself? I told you to be on time, but you were busy in office.” With a tilted smile, my fiancé fetched the ring out of the dustbin, took my hand and put it on again, “Sorry, I’m late, I work so that I can give us a secure future.” Blush was all I could do. At 25, life had taught me that I needed to be more mature and that only the lucky ones found true love. 2003 I twisted in pain. The tumour above my uterus had been operated and the stitches were still wet. I thought the pain would never go. My family stood beside me like a rock, attending to every need. My husband donated blood and assured me that the pain would go soon. At that time, I never believed him. A month later, I was driving and had forgotten all the pain. At 30, life had taught me that pain and joy come in cycles; God doesn’t deprive anyone of either, because they are part of your growing process. 2006 In the sixth month of pregnancy, my husband and I are busy looking at websites, books and magazines for each week’s development of the baby. We are consulting doctors and driving our siblings, friends and parents crazy with our anxiousness. Praying. Everything must go well. 2009 Praying. It is still three hours to go for my hubby to get back from Finland by the 4am flight, our three-year-old brat is sleeping peacefully. I realise that I’m still praying. For big and small things! For the safety of my family — a big thing, for a dream house — a small thing… At 36, life taught me that God always listens to my prayers and also that I’m still learning the subject called life! There are three main things that life has taught me: One, that life teaches us a lesson every day. Second, our family is our weakness and our strength. Finally, God is there with us at every step. Just talk to Him. (Soul Curry is a column where we invite our readers to share their soul-stirring experiences)
Monday, January 24, 2011
article in readers digest
‘It’s Rs. 15...do you still want me to buy it.’ He screamed from across the road, the florist, the bikers and lovelorn people looked turned and looked at him. One good Samaritan on a bike saw my face (fuming and furious), indicated to my husband to buy it, grudgingly he bought it and handed it to me. The poor rose survived my glares but my hubby sure had a tough time digesting the meal I gave him on our first valentine.
As days of our marriage passed, the girly dream of getting a cocktail of “Tom Cruise mixed with SRK” dimmed. I wondered what my parents had thought before getting me married to this heartless six-footer. No chocolates, no cards not even a candle light dinner happened in the first six months of marriage. I made tea for him every morning and he gulped it down with a fixed smile and fixed words – ‘Thank you, it’s good’. A firm peck on the cheek and I was left alone to twiddle my thumbs all day.
The only solace I had was chatting with some friends, once while chatting I was informed by a common friend that the only thing my hubby hated was tea! Then why didn’t he tell me for six months? My mind started working, is he all that tough? My hopes rose as he got me tickets of an SRK film, I remembered telling him that I always see the first show. The point was that he remembered!
I wore new glasses to see my hubby now, to notice his subtle ways, he always sat on the side where there was more sun, he always waited till I had started my meal, gave me his glass of water as he knows I drink less water, being a cleanliness maniac he never said a word against my untidy ways instead he cleaned my cupboard that was like a volcano that erupted every time you opened it!
Valentine day was the day when the doctor confirmed that we are going to be parents. I may remind him of all the pregnancy pains and what it is to carry a child but he has never reminded me that he donated blood to me or that he spent sleepless nights when I was operated or that he was more alert and gave me my medicines before the nurses in the hospital could come.
Years have passed and we grew together. I have got so used to his gentle ways that I take them for granted, today thirteen years have passed since I first saw him, then I had just seen him but I know him now. The wisdom of my parents also dawned upon me, as to why they had chosen this ‘heartless’ six footer for me, whom I have yet to see angry with anybody - the car cleaner, subordinates, house workers...! Today our four year old son said, ‘I like Mamma, she loves me, kisses me, Papa never does.’ I realized that it’s his turn now to realize slowly what a wonderful father he has.
It’s strange why one always sees the loud and ignores the gentle and quiet things in life, why we love to read the bad things and find the good uninteresting to read. True to human nature I also would have ignored the birds that visit us every morning, the warmth of the early morning sun, the fun in closing your eyes when the wind is blowing...but for my dear husband who has tamed his shrew without his knowledge!
Happy Valentine’s Day Parikshet, I promise and want a promise that in this life and all the lives to come we will be together.
Neha Srivastava
9871039394
As days of our marriage passed, the girly dream of getting a cocktail of “Tom Cruise mixed with SRK” dimmed. I wondered what my parents had thought before getting me married to this heartless six-footer. No chocolates, no cards not even a candle light dinner happened in the first six months of marriage. I made tea for him every morning and he gulped it down with a fixed smile and fixed words – ‘Thank you, it’s good’. A firm peck on the cheek and I was left alone to twiddle my thumbs all day.
The only solace I had was chatting with some friends, once while chatting I was informed by a common friend that the only thing my hubby hated was tea! Then why didn’t he tell me for six months? My mind started working, is he all that tough? My hopes rose as he got me tickets of an SRK film, I remembered telling him that I always see the first show. The point was that he remembered!
I wore new glasses to see my hubby now, to notice his subtle ways, he always sat on the side where there was more sun, he always waited till I had started my meal, gave me his glass of water as he knows I drink less water, being a cleanliness maniac he never said a word against my untidy ways instead he cleaned my cupboard that was like a volcano that erupted every time you opened it!
Valentine day was the day when the doctor confirmed that we are going to be parents. I may remind him of all the pregnancy pains and what it is to carry a child but he has never reminded me that he donated blood to me or that he spent sleepless nights when I was operated or that he was more alert and gave me my medicines before the nurses in the hospital could come.
Years have passed and we grew together. I have got so used to his gentle ways that I take them for granted, today thirteen years have passed since I first saw him, then I had just seen him but I know him now. The wisdom of my parents also dawned upon me, as to why they had chosen this ‘heartless’ six footer for me, whom I have yet to see angry with anybody - the car cleaner, subordinates, house workers...! Today our four year old son said, ‘I like Mamma, she loves me, kisses me, Papa never does.’ I realized that it’s his turn now to realize slowly what a wonderful father he has.
It’s strange why one always sees the loud and ignores the gentle and quiet things in life, why we love to read the bad things and find the good uninteresting to read. True to human nature I also would have ignored the birds that visit us every morning, the warmth of the early morning sun, the fun in closing your eyes when the wind is blowing...but for my dear husband who has tamed his shrew without his knowledge!
Happy Valentine’s Day Parikshet, I promise and want a promise that in this life and all the lives to come we will be together.
Neha Srivastava
9871039394
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